by Blake Fite
S.W. Director – HFO
“Stop touching my baseball glove give it back,” Billy said in a raging tone. It was too late; the bully forcefully took his baseball glove and marked on it boy lover. The statement was not true, but in the moment, anger coursed through young Billy’s heart. The sweet boy was frozen in quantum time, helpless to defend himself.
You see, Billy was a better athlete than the bully picking on him, much better, and the coach chose him to be the starter on the baseball team over him. Billy, ruddy and handsome, a dominant alpha male buried deep within his soul, did not know who the Creator formed him to be… at least not yet. For this reason, the bully did what bullies do, and those around him just wilted in fear. It set off a series of humiliating name calling towards Billy from those he went to school with.
Does this story sound familiar? Most recall being bullied, bullying others, or watching a friend being bullied feeling helpless, unable to defend their honor. Later, right before high school, Billy mustered enough courage to fight back. Of course it was extreme, but a tougher form of the young man began to emerge, and one day this young man had had enough! He confronted the bully, who came from a wealthy family unlike his own, and like David handling Goliath in the Bible, took action (1 Samuel, Chapter 17). What commenced next was an old-fashioned butt-whooping that took a couple of friends to pull Billy off, leaving the bully’s face and Billy’s shirt speckled in blood. Billy, feeling avenged but guilty, walked away crying, shaking, and satisfied- at least temporarily.
“The Bible is very clear on how to facilitate an environment of peace. The first principle is to remove the urge to repay evil for evil and the second is to invite those around you to peace instead of demanding it.”
The real tragedy was that throughout the rest of high school Billy did what so many others who were victimized before him. He began to defend the honor of those being bullied by stepping in when the helpless needed support. However, lacking communication skills at the time, used fisticuffs instead of peaceful diplomacy and kindness.
Now here is the tragic part: many times, a victim does not intend to become a bully- they just acquire a short fuse when someone is bullying them or another helpless person. It almost always comes off as being a bully even though their motives are pure: to defend those who cannot defend themselves. In more extreme cases, they become an unbridled bully as well. We see this mostly in the young males (but also in young females) we bring into our orphanages. These kids need lots of love, strong boundaries, and deep acceptance for who they are in Christ. For the rest of this article, I am going to share two very important principles to help young people conquer the bully within.
The Bible is very clear on how to facilitate an environment of peace. The first principle is to remove the urge to repay evil for evil. The second is to invite those around you to peace instead of demanding it. Romans 12:17-19 is a perfect blueprint that instructs believers not to retaliate with evil for evil, but to live honorably, pursue peace, and leave vengeance to God, who promises to repay, emphasizing forgiveness and trusting divine justice over personal revenge.
Let’s quickly unpack how this plays out when someone is being abused or bullied. The instruction is simple and yet brilliant as it relates to how God handles the situation lovingly when you allow Him. Let’s say your child is being bullied (and this can happen when you’re an adult too, especially when people foolishly gang up on someone). Instead of repaying an evil act with another evil act, simply give them to God and never avenge yourself. The simple prayer goes something like this: “God, I give this person to you. Deal with them how you will in hopes they will experience peace and salvation. In Jesus name, amen.” In this simple prayer, God is released to surgically rectify the situation for you with love and accountability.
When we take matters in our own hand, the story of Billy reminds us that when we bloody up others the blood gets on us as well. The only one who wins in this situation is the devil himself! Just try it and you will be amazed at the results. You will experience peace in situations where before you had no control over the matter.
The second principle to creating an environment of peace is replacing demand with an invitation. Instead of demanding something, you replace it with an kind invitation. This works in all types of situations. Matthew 22:1-14, the Parable of the Wedding Banquet, perfectly illustrates this process of creating an environment of peace. In this parable, a king had prepared a wedding banquet for his son (Matthew 22;2). He then implored those closest to him to go out to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find, good and bad without prejudice to a peaceful celebration.
Theologically, the primary purpose of this parable uses a wedding banquet as powerful symbols for God’s invitation to His kingdom: the joy of salvation and the importance of being prepared and humble. There are also some other subtle and profound elements of shifting your life from demanding to inviting others on a new timeline of personal peace. Another version of the Wedding Feast is found in Luke 14:8-14 where the King advises guests to take the lowest seat so the host can say, “Friend, move up higher,” resulting in honor, which in and of itself is an open display of peace.
Honor is often necessary for healing of those who have been marginalized and for rectifying the abuse they have experienced through being bullied or abused. Psalm 23:5 paints such a beautiful picture of the banquet and how God honors the guests when it states, “You prepare a banquet for me, where all my enemies can see me; you welcome me as an honored guest and fill my cup to the brim.” Here is guessing: the cup is filled with the most expensive wine the local market has to offer.
Revelation 19:7 details the scene where it states, “Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready.” What a beautiful picture where the Bride and Groom (a picture of Christ) is sat at the front table and the King is inviting certain people regardless of societal status or money to sit in the front. All eyes are focused on the bride who is perfect (completely forgiven) and all dressed in white. What a breathtaking scene filled with beauty and celebration!
When Billy grew up and became a man, he often would speak to individuals and groups. His message was filled with stories of forgiveness, apologizing in buckets to those around him as he continued to mature, exercising the principles of not repaying evil for evil, and inviting those around him to a life of peace without demanding it. We would be wise to follow his example as he follows Christ.
You can read more about the character Billy Washita in the first book of a series sponsored by Morgan James Publishing and Hearts of the Father Outreach Called Echoes of Newtown. The book follows seven orphans whose parents died in the Civil War around 1882 who have supernatural powers and can travel through time. The book is a fictional Christian novel that has discussion questions at the end of each chapter to help young people navigate life and process loss. It is a perfect book for both young adults and the adults in their life who safely care for and love them. You can purchase Echoes of Newtown anywhere books are sold online. A percentage of proceeds goes to Hearts of the Father Outreach, where we defend the cause of the fatherless and disadvantaged.